Ok... I'm not sober... but...

Everybody has their regrets - things we wish we'd done differently, or not at all, or things we didn't do that we should have. We can't change the past, and it's not productive to worry about it now. Do the best you can with what you've got - that's all you can ask of anyone, including yourself.

 

Ah, the galaxy song! The best thing Monty Python ever did. (With the sperm song a close second.)

 

Ask her if she'd rather be married to a pretty boy who was disloyal, rude, mean, dishonest, and depended on her for financial support.

It sounds to me like she's lucky to have you. Sure, we'd all like to dream about what our lives could have been. From what I understand, your wife is well loved and cared for.

Plus, you're controlling her meds, aren't you? With a bit more morphine, you could be Clooney after all.

 

women.....

 

that is a fairly shallow thing for her to say, i'm sorry. you seem to fulfill all of the obligations of a husband. i would be bummed too.

 

Couldn't have said it better, and I'm sorry too.

 

Morphine I had morphine once after an operation. It was very nice.

 

Re: Ok... but...

That might indeed... i.e., could be the drugs talking. Still, one wonders if that's how she feels subconsciously and the drugs are just taking away the inhibition. Still hurts.

 

Bob, I feel your pain. I'm going through a similar situation myself and it's led to the end of my marriage. She can give a laundry list of wonderful things that I am, but there's one thing she can't seem (or doesn't want) to get past.

However she does or doesn't feel about me doesn't make me any less of a man. That's her hangup, not my failing. And the same goes for you.

 

Re: Ok... but...

It sounds like you are both dealing with a lot. My thoughts are with you, neighbor.

 

Re: Ok... I'm sober now... but...

This is a perfect example of someone being honest when honesty wasn't needed. What was the point of sharing with you something that is utterly out of your control? You've got the difficult stuff down, the character traits. As my (fairy) godmother says, "We all turn into prunes in the end" and that includes Mr. Clooney.

The ironic thing is that you don't even seem to be phased by the Clooney comment, more bothered by the comparison to a toaster. That wasn't fair of her to say, and it should never have been verbalized. It didn't serve any purpose other than to make you feel less good about yourself (and that's a spiteful thing to do to someone).

Maybe if the topic comes up again, you might ask her what her point is with the comment. I don't know what purpose it would serve, but it could give you the avenue to say that questioning your manhood isn't a very kind thing to do and ask her if she is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings.

Of course, if you don't want to know the answer to a question, don't ask it in the first place.....just saying....

 

I would suggest you watch for other, uncharacteristic behaviors. It can be a sign of dementia. Some dementia can be chemically induced - as in, her meds. Talk to the doctor about any out of the ordinary behaviors. She may need some re-evaluation of prescriptions done.

DO NOT take this personally. Apparently, this is not like her. Assume it isn't actually her.

 

Re: Ok... I'm sober now... but...

I was a little concerned that my last post wasn't so clear at the end. The last sentence of my previous post was referring to the second to the last sentence of my previous post.

Basically, if the opportunity came up again, you could question her about it, but if you don't want to know the answer, it is best not to ask the question.

That's all I meant.

 

My wife knows better than to ask me a lot of things...and yet says she prefers honesty. So, which is it?