Complete the Limerick

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by jared2, Nov 6, 2006.

  1. dragonfly

    dragonfly New Member

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    Well, I'd help you out, but our little bridge-living friend just gave me an epiphany, that I'm driving the wrong sucky car! :blink: So I'm off to sell this piece of junk! :p
     
  2. Pinto Girl

    Pinto Girl New Member

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    He probably needs four wheel drive, what with the generally poor traction found under most bridges today, so perhaps the Prius doesn't make sense for him.

    And, without a telescoping steering wheel, someone of his small stature might have difficulty finding a comfortable seating position.

    But -- don't trolls generally wear hats? The Prius does have lots of headroom. Hmmmm, perhaps even trolls might grow (ooops, pardon the choice of word) to like a Prius...
     
  3. Pinto Girl

    Pinto Girl New Member

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    What I've always wondered is, trolls usually hang around gardens, don't they...?

    So wouldn't a troll, *especially* a troll -- at least one with even a fragment of a brain -- be concerned about destroying the natural environment...?

    Yes, of course it would.

    Personally, I think being a troll is a lifestyle choice. It's clearly not the same as being gay, which is basically a condition of birth.

    I'm fearful that, if we don't act now, soon trollls will be having sex with normal people, and the ethnic purity of non-under-bridge-dwellers will become tainted...they'll be forming non-traditional family units and besmirching the morals of this great country.

    Has anyone given any thought to amending the Constitution, for the preservation of the sanctity of non-trollness, and to put a stop, once and for all, to the spread of the "troll agenda..."?
     
  4. Pinto Girl

    Pinto Girl New Member

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    Hey -- know what's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
     
  5. dragonfly

    dragonfly New Member

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    No Pinto, tell us!
     
  6. Pinto Girl

    Pinto Girl New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(PhirusPriiSuck @ Nov 16 2006, 08:10 PM) [snapback]350539[/snapback]</div>
    Actually, all you have to do is be able to spell eligible correctly. And I can!!!

    Sorry -- NO PRIUS FOR YOU!!!
    [laughing]

    The porcupine carries its pricks on the outside. That's right, isn't it, Mr. Troll? I can't remember the punchline exactly.
     
  7. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    Superman led a great life
    Then Lois became his new wife
    On his ex-ray vision
    She made a decision
    "Let your eyes wonder, I'll cut 'em off with a knife"

    The sailor from Sweden was daring
    Although, at times, overbearing
     
  8. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pinto Girl @ Nov 16 2006, 07:57 PM) [snapback]350524[/snapback]</div>
    "trolls usually hang around gardens, don't they...?"

    I think you're thinking of gnomes. Trolls live under bridges and when people cross they leap out and gobble them up.
     
  9. Jack Kelly

    Jack Kelly New Member

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  10. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    There once was a young man from Utah
    who bought himself a computah
    His wives liked it a lot
    He did not
    Their new ideas made him feel neutered


    The good wives of Salt Lake City
    Decided to form a committee
     
  11. chimohio

    chimohio New Member

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    The good wives of Salt Lake City
    Decided to form a committee
    They came up with a plan
    Just five wives to a man
    Though at times they other wives they could see

    A man was out hunting for deer
    He saw one then started to leer
     
  12. dragonfly

    dragonfly New Member

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    A man was out hunting for deer
    He saw one then started to leer
    The buck was a fake
    Its horns were a rake
    Christmas stuff that's thrown out from last year

    I woke up this morning ethereal
    I put too much milk in my cereal
     
  13. dreichla

    dreichla New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Dragonfly @ Nov 17 2006, 06:16 PM) [snapback]351187[/snapback]</div>
    The loops were a floating
    And I was a gloating

    I guess you could say I was cheerial


    I walked out the office's door
    My boss said "Do that no more"
     
  14. VinceDee

    VinceDee Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dreichla @ Nov 17 2006, 04:19 PM) [snapback]351213[/snapback]</div>
    "cheerial"? :D

    I walked out the office's door
    My boss said "Do that no more"
    but since it was five
    I said "give me no jive"
    my boss was shaken to the core

    It's Friday, should I go see "Bond"?
    even if James has gone blond?
     
  15. livelychick

    livelychick Missin' My Prius

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    It's Friday, should I go see "Bond"?
    even if James has gone blond?
    He'll still have girls a lot
    And man...is he hot!
    One of the few from across the pond!


    My 3 year old just said "oh sh$%"
    As his mom, I had a slight fit
     
  16. dreichla

    dreichla New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Nov 17 2006, 07:58 PM) [snapback]351244[/snapback]</div>
    Then pressing his luck
    He then said, "oh Fu$&"

    And I too screamed, "you little sh$%"


    I think I'm need of a drink
    I just got a slip which was pink
     
  17. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    I think I'm need of a drink
    I just got a slip which was pink
    My boss was quite terse
    Writing doggerel verse!
    I suggest you start seeing a shrink

    I went to a shrink right away
    He thought I was really ok
     
  18. dragonfly

    dragonfly New Member

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    I went to a shrink right away
    He thought I was perfectly ok
    He gave me no drugs
    No shocks and no hugs
    But then why do I still have to pay?

    Down by the lake there's a brothel
    The service is really quite awful
     
  19. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    Down by the lake there's a brothel
    The service is really quite awful
    For a regular guy
    It is worth a try
    But I prefer things that involve waffles

    My well-to-do ne'er-do-well friend
    Came to a very bad end
     
  20. dreichla

    dreichla New Member

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    My well-to-do ne'er-do-well friend
    Came to a very bad end
    Throttle excessively gassing
    While obnoxiously passing
    Went straight round the very sharp bend


    Another morn sleeping in bed
    Should I get up or go to the head?