Fri 24 Apr 26: People are on edge today... not sure why. Got the tired old tailgating w/o any change in the usual pace; even had to brake-check one tweaker who decided to focus all her 30-sec-attention-span on showing me how slow I were going (10 over speed limit). Nearly rear-ending someone, full-ABS, when you don't have insurance... is a sure-fire way to wake urchins like that up, & come back to the light from a pot-worsened pipe dream where everything / everyone bends to your self-obsessed ratchet will But for the most part, good news today. Thought due to lots of transactions being made this week for a myriad of unavoidable spending... my wallet'd be near the red, so deposited some dosh. Got the balance... oh, not nearly as bad as thought. Haven't used checks since the '90s, so reckoning used to be the std until smartphones and access to balances online. Doesn't happen all the time, so glad my spendy-sense were dialed Another good thing: since been using Hybrid Solutions ceramic spray to wash and wipe away the swarms of midge splats... the more I do this (every morning before heading to the salad spot, in TGT car park) the more able the layers repel their acidic little bodies from sticking -- this morning after a week of this (since Mon)... almost didn't need to spray the splats for a blue roll towel to wipe them clean from the front cap paint. Also working on the black part around the 5G's 'mouth'... which on Mon, was a solid 15 mins trying to get their little pestilent bodies to release. Today, was one spray, one wipe, one buff and gone... like they were never there. Did find something distressing on the windscreen tho: a pit ~1mm⌀ in it, probably from a rock thrown during the storm by a brodozer. Not big enough to propagate into a crack, but did fill it with ceramic -- at least then the wiper blades won't be cut by the hole's sharp edges. Will monitor Heard a term in Japanese, that rather floored me. Not as dramatic as you're p rolly thinking... but it was something that felt profound, in that physical way... almost like my breakthroughs learning bodywork. The term was popularised in Japanese culture by an man named Tanizaki (surname) Jun'ichiro (given name), in his book In Praise of Shadows. He is considered one of Japan's more prolific and influential modern authors. The term is komorebi (木漏れ日), meaning 'sunlight filtering through trees'... which Tanizaki mentions in the book. In Japanese architecture vs. Western architecture dogma, the interplay of light and shadow is much more celebrated, playing an integral part in the narrative of a Japanese space expressing itself to those living in them. Therefore must be darkness to endorse the existence of light, and vice versa. If you think back to the conditions under which these concepts were developed and refined (living in nature, no sewage systems, no electricity, no heat that wasn't from burning wood or summer swelter... and everything manual, in a time when most people were off-grid, even in cities)... isn't difficult to imagine it'd be named. As an offbeat kid growing up on Maui in the early '70s, had felt from a young age something was... not wrong per se... but were something more to the world aroun dme than met the eye... about the Mill, the fields, the valleys my family'd hike thru occasionally, the old railroad tracks who were my companion following them north to their terminus in Pu'ukoli, esp riding my bicycle w\ the canefields adjacent. Our comm'y at the time (no longer) came from the plantations... so were defo similar to this kind of existence. Living in nature, sensitises one to it -- just as living in a titanically-large city like New York's boroughs, sensitises and refines one senses for what aids you in that large of a city vs. punishes you. But we all came from nature... so many things about how we're physically put together in our minds thru countless generations of evolution... are very old places, very old experiences -- all 100% organic. Had felt -- and savoured -- komorebi in multiple different situations, even single-digit-aged. There's something I daresay magical and transcendent, yet so simple and common in dappled sunlight, sitting or walking under a natural canopy. Also experienced this spearfishing, from the sun hitting the surface of the water... for me it's always been hypnotic in a sense, just an arm's reach away. But didn't have a name -- was only a collection of feelings and 'vignettes' stored in fragile long-term memory, loosely-bound and put up on the shelves of an aging mind. Something about hearing it had one for hundreds of years of artisanship... stopped me in my tracks, watching this video: Dami is of course one of my go-tos for new drops on her channel... so endearing to hear she had an enlightening few days studying architectural bones of Japanese dwelling design -- something I myself may never get to fully explore before passing on. So to even have an epiphany with the mere mention of a term I'd wondered about nearly all my life, was heavy
Sat 25 Apr 26: First off -- have a bodywork story today finally -- but may overlap with related stories from previous posts... --- Weather's cleared up, tho still humid as feck. Even the midges are starting to decline, thank God. But roof's still covered in midges drinking dew off the 5G... so not out of the vermin-y woods yet. A bit of red thread connection to a related Coincidences post... weird how things tend to change in the world, based on your perception of it. Reminded of a line in a fave movie: 'We create, and perceive our world simultaneously... and our mind does this so well that we don't even know it's happening.' ('Inception', 2010) Why's this a factor in today's post? Many here tend to focus on me whinging about what's gone wrong in the day, simply because it's the rule rather than the exception, is mildly cathartic... and turning it humourous can then also provide catharsis for others reading. Usual reason people are voyeurs -- its a way to vicariously live someone else's life as a way to release pressure regarding your own... but tends to become something else when more energy's focused on it than healthy. Nothing new here So using the morning commute as a gauge... decided to see if any of it had any weight: focusing on positive, growth-related aspects of the day, rather than the years-refined but still slightly-cynical views I have of people in traffic, esp here on Maui. Would there be a difference? Or would it like many things about reality, be far more complex and subtle than this clumsy test would allow? Felt distinctly, like the general energy of the week had died down to the point where being 'in the pocket' with the flow of the day, became quite easy. That doesn't happen very often for many reasons (generational conflicts about what's 'right' in actions; substance abuse; stress from cost of living, housing shortage, etc. etc.) but when it does is easily perceived. Like a more sophisticated and mysterious version of catching all the greens driving thru town, things tended to fall into place today so far. The odd thing re: this, is yr fthfl svt always has agency, at any millisecond in the day. There are literally millions of tiny decisions we make about our existence in the world, from when our eyelids slam open to when they slam shut. But despite this, have literally no idea how to ride the wave, rather than wearing it as a hat, slamming into the reef. You could say if a thing's persistence in stasis allows this dullard to finally get it, then adapt so hardship stops... then yeah, can dodge a lava flow But historically in moments I desperately want things to go my way... tends to be some celestial bureaucrat stamping a big 「却下」(Jp. kyakka, 'rejected') onto my forehead But what's the mechanism behind whether it happens at all? How in earth and sky does someone perceive, let alone ride the wave, all the time? In cloister, was taught the path to figuring this out, were to meditate (at least in Rinzai Zen dogma). One uses the strict posture and errors in learning to sit, to figure out 1) how not to f***ing scream as the O₂ in your half-lotus'd legs, drops to mind-bendingly-painful levels... and 2) how to see what the mind does when you're not constantly distracted by the randomness of the external world, and simply focus on what it creates by itself. Sort of like a 5K-yo method to make any quiet place an isolation chamber... and like those chambers... reveals creatures 50 stories high, do swim in the deep under you. There's this concept of mara (Jp. 魔羅, 'delusion') in Buddhist dogma*. Codified are 108 delusions of man (those knobs you see on the silo-shaped Buddhist temple bells), the manifestations of Mara. Anyone with even the barest knowledge of Buddhism, knows the number 108 has special significance in this regard. Myself, only beginning training at the dojo... saw mere glimpses of this raw, limiters-off bubbling mire of darkness within me and my past lives -- explained as the body of Mara -- by quieting the conscious mind of its constant whirlwind of thoughts... but wasn't there long enough to fully explore why I saw what I saw. My eldest teacher, the late Tanouye Tenshin Rotaishi, said it was probably because I'd done something horrific in a past life, and this massive weight of karmic pennance, meant I couldn't reach my full potential without [the stream that is] Me first facing and releasing the flood of negative karma this act created. Since that time, reaching deep meditative states have been always at the edge of my grasp, as if my mind itself were reflexively recoiling at even touching its red-hot surface, and whatever exists under the crust. But like today... dapples of light do occasionally break thru. Maybe that's why I've been so attracted to these places and moments of komorebi, to experience the simulacra of something my mind has to someday face, but lacks the spiritual fortitude to close. These moments, esp since becoming a bodyworker, inch closer to being something tangible and real, familiarity with it and the conditions of its creation (and destruction), like one walks without thinking. Could be Me next year, could be Me 300y from now, no telling when or which version of the old man will finally take up the sword and have a full-send go at Mara, whatever-happens-happens-committed. Apparently according to Tanouye Roshi, it will happen... but for now, am crawling up the easy but very long zigzag trail to the mountaintop, whilst the dojo would've shown me the fastest trail straight to the top... but where most fall off due to its difficulty, including myself --- * the story goes, Gautama Siddhartha, after realising his sheltered existence walled off from the outside world (was heir to a great empire but prophesied to become either a great general or a great healer... so to guarantee his ascendence, royal parents showered him in comfort and ease, forbidding him exp anything to elicit existential questions)... snuck outside the royal compound walls to see three things: a sick man, an old man, and a dead man. This realisation we're all destined to all of these three states, set him off into the wild to find an ascetic to teach him a way out of suffering. Eventually found six brutally-difficult ascetics... all leaving him in worse health and with no answers (did focus and strengthen his enormous potential however, for the next step). So at noon, made a small grass mat and sat under a bodhi tree to meditate on the problem of causes and solutions to suffering, seven days and seven nights (the same length of time modern Rinzal Zen temples practice sesshin, or 7d of intense ascetic meditation and activity). Legend goes by sunset on the seventh day, Siddhartha gained knowledge of all things past. By midnight, he'd gained knowledge of all things future. And by sunrise, became enlightened (knowing at last his Buddha nature, or the self before he were born), and began his 45y teaching as the man called Shakyamuni, The Buddha of All Things Present... and the 7th such person to reach this state in the Rinzai tradition (Pali texts vary between 8 including Siddhartha, 29 including the future Buddha Maitreya, and hundreds -- so who knows. Currently the most named, number 29.) However, the whole time during this deep meditation on the question of suffering... Mara -- the demon king of delusion, the Loki of Buddhist tradition -- were taunting and trying to distract Siddhartha with everything tool it had, every microscopic moment of it found, looking for an opening to prevent enlightenment... which it didn't, and had to concede utter and total defeat, by that sunrise.
Sun Warsh Day 26 Apr 26: Actually a pretty nice warsh day -- things were quite smooth, which was nice. Also... my knee felt a lot better doing the usual tasks, which I'll chalk to changing my bedding slightly to test a theory -- and apparently turned out right. It's so simple yet so TMI, I'll skip it The glut of flying insects agin my 5G's front clip finish tho.. better now that's it's dried out a bit... but sitting in front the car to get a close look at their little gruesome body flaps... there are some insects (probably predators for the gnats and midges) that are actually piercing the ceramic, clear coat, pigment, and primer, going all the way to the plastic material.. which is puzzling as I've not done any sorties past 100 mph Seems at 60, if you hit a wasp or anything else flying with hard mandibles, you're getting a nick, as bad as flung rocks, great Am sure this sounds kinda pathetic to those of you okay with coming home every night with a furry front clip and strangely fluctuating coolant and A/C temps, in Deep South or East Coast... where much, much bigger fauna (like f***ing locusts) find their last moments disembowled across your ride, hurtling 75 mph down a freeway w\ forests and meadows on both sides. But not since 2019 or so, have we had this much water fall on our goddamned heads, or effing wildlife on our vehicles. I'd get one or two hits per day, sure... but 50? Isn't as bad as right after the Month of Slop, but hasn't gone away, either. Was tempted to go to Costco for a dog But is Sunday, not Costco-is-open-day... Oh -- figured out a way to dry the car in about half the time... sorta headdesking I'd not thought of it before. Does help if you have a nicely-maintained paint finish, so the water's already beading... just needs put up. This, in my case, works with a store-bought microfibre drying towel, about 0.75m on a side. Start at the rear of the car, & take hold of a corner of the square microfibre in one hand, and use the other hand to guide the towel over the water beading on the rear trunk / hatch & bumper. You're holding the corner and laying the rest of the towel on the surface, and other hand's spreading and finding dry spots in it, to soak up water. Don't let the towel touch the ground, or you'll pick up tiny bits of grit that'll scratch your paint. Move the towel such that no one bit of it wipes up all the water, you want it evenly distributed. Then, with this damp towel (not sopping)... draw the towel over the trunk / hatch, rear glass, and roof on your side -- the dampness helps the microfibre absorb w/o leaving streaks. Continue over windscreen and hood. Repeat on the other side. Use the same corner-dangling method, to wipe fenders and doors. You can hold the opposite corner and draw the towel over the door to soak up large areas of beading... but I prefer my palm and fingers use the opposite-corner's 'meat' of the towel, to wipe manually and prevent one line of towel from getting sopping wet. Repeat on all doors and fenders. Takes half the time It usually does, mostly fighting with a dry towel that initially doesn't want to be absorbent (I blame fabric softener sheets for this). Also keeps from having to wring out a towel that doesn't like it, needing dry a bit and fluff to not streak, which is a pain and time-burner. Best and more surprising thing, is it keeps the towel perfectly within this dampness pocket, while using it. Gives a heck of a lot more time for margin of error, if have errands to run too.
