Today God asked his trusted servant on earth, George Bush, to convey a message to Pope Ratzinger: Don't even think about abolishing Limbo. Smiling broadly, Bush said to God "I really don't think you have anything to worry about on that score. Nobodies gonna touch Rush. We pretty much got talk radio sewn up". God, appearing oddly perplexed considering his omnisience, suddenly understood. "Not Limbaugh, you dolt, Limbo!" And, not for the first time, God wondered what he had been thinking of in his choice of earthly representatives. "But what's the Pope got against Limbaugh - I kinda thought they 'ad a lot in commin", asked Bush. At this point God, who you recall from the old testament has been know to have some problems with Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) completely lost it and screamed "Just get Dick on the phone, you moron". God: Dick, is that you? Dick: Who wants to know? God: It's me, God. Dick: It's not really a good time. God: Look, you have to do something about Ratzinger and Limbo. If he abolishes Limbo, we'll have to take all those spewing brats and even worse those smug creeps like Socrates and Aristotle who were born before Jesus into heaven. It's bad enough that we have to take the born again Christians. Why can't they just agree to be born again and again and again like the Buddhists? We have enough problems running out of virgins for the Muslims. Anyway, what can we do? Dick: (Interested) Virgins? You still have some up there? God: A few. The unattractive ones. Dick: No problem. Just send them to hell. That's where they belong, anyway. They will suffer the excruciatingly boring chat room flames in eternity, without the ignore function. God: Brilliant! Some might like that. But what if they object? Dick: Tell them to go f#*k themselves. Anything else? I'm running late for a hunting trip. God: That's it, and thanks! You can tell Ratzinger to pull the plug on Limbo. But not Limbaugh, of course. By the way, can you do something about George? Dick: No.
I heard a different story- that when God advised Bush that the Pope was going to abolish limbo, he said, "then what will the people on those cruise ships do after drinkin' all them margaritas?"
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ Jun 7 2006, 02:27 PM) [snapback]267352[/snapback]</div> Did you not see that his little bit o' satire contained three of the big four? Allah WAS included, as was the Buddha.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Jun 7 2006, 09:37 PM) [snapback]267623[/snapback]</div> MS talking about bashing- to use one of his favorite expressions, that is indeed the pot calling the kettle black.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Jun 7 2006, 09:37 PM) [snapback]267623[/snapback]</div> Damn! You mean I missed one?
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ Jun 8 2006, 09:57 AM) [snapback]267851[/snapback]</div> I'd rather have a fatwad than a fatwah.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Jun 8 2006, 10:00 AM) [snapback]267854[/snapback]</div> Hey, I agree!! :lol:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ Jun 8 2006, 10:02 AM) [snapback]267857[/snapback]</div> yes, you're off ignore, but still on probation.
