does anyone have a list of things to do that aren't really usually talked about or mentioned in the manual?
Yes, this website is full of them... Some of them are unnecessary... The more you read on here the more you'll have to consider. But one you can do is that Toyota considers the transmission fluid good for the life of the vehicle, but we've done testing of trans fluid and most of us agree that you're going to have slightly less wear and tear if you replace it at least once. There's differing opinions on the details, but the reason I prefer the most is a brand new engine usually gets an oil change after the first 1K miles because the break in period on a new engine creates way more fine particulate than once everything settles into place. So why not apply that to all the planetary gears in the transmission as well?
Second the transaxle fluid change. Also: 1. Brake fluid change 2. Exhaust Gas Recirculation components cleaning, including intake manifold And this, which is actually noted, albeit in a very subtle way, in the US maintenance schedule: 3. Brake inspection/service, every 30K miles or tri-yearly