I'm trying not to get depressed that my 2010 isn't likely to show up here in the NE for several weeks. I'm not in the first allocation, and maybe not the second either. Big sigh. Can anyone give me some jokes or one-liners to cheer me up while I wait? My husband would really appreciate it! I'm driving him nuts!<g>
How about... David Ortiz is having a great season for the Red Sox... If that doesn't make you laugh...not much will!
Thanks Matt! When the Sox are doing well early in the season, I say 'wait until August!' I'm a cynic and bet against the home teams, for years I made $. I figure if I lose, it's a good thing! The worst was when a guy worked for me and his brother worked for the Pats - he got prime seats in New Orleans for the Superbowl, he had a great time with the pictures to prove it - complete with the trophy. btw - I grew up in Andover. I miss the old stomping grounds.
Bica: There's a whole jokes thread here. And good luck making it through the wait. I waited over 2 months for my 2004 Prius, and eleven months (!!!) for my electric Porsche. So I know what you are going through.
I liked Athens more actually... Shoot... Now I gotta find a Greek joke to cheer her up... :madgrin: OK, Fine... I'll look... :bolt:
Thanks for the laugh! A friend came to visit after I had my haircut one day. As I opened the door he exclaimed "What did you do to your hair??!!!" to which my husband replied "Don't worry, she always looks like that after she gets her haircut!". My hairdresser gave a great cut, but couldn't style it afterwords and it was a running joke.
Hmmmm... Wellllll... let's see... Both places have their own variety of spoken English... Both places have a real big pond nearby... and popular beaches with nice boats floating around... Both places have quite a number of folks that are really from the fringes of society... Both places have a history steeped in corruption and numerous lawbreakers in charge of societal activities... But... I gots ta give the nod to Adelaide... y'all got more sharks, stingers and have salt water man eating crocs... Plus... I always kind of wanted to have the winner from down under... the gals mumble with their mouth full in a much more sensuous and attractive manner, IMO. I have to qualify this however... I have been to Boston and remain unimpressed (other than some of the architecture), I haven't been to Adelaide, I only dated a gal from there... and she was enough to make me a believer.
You got it right except for the crocs, and I think the stingers are on the east coast. 1 gal mumbling with her mouth full, does not qualify you on the Women of Adelaide. I think we have gone off the topic though. I was just suggesting that do you have to be an owner of a particular car to be happy!
Bev As for where the stingers are... I have not been there... I was just looking at web posts... The one gal... did all Aussies good... IMO she made me realize ALL of the gals from down under get a favorable rating... Is that a biased remark... Well DUH... my world was rocked... The gals from Boston were... well... not quite up to the Aussie standard... The Cali gals are, as well as the Texans and a few from Ohio from my personal observations... as are a hell of a lot of those fine Mexican gals... Wait a minute there Sis... I just got diverted from the thread by memories of fine Tang... A joke... OK OK... a Greek Joke... The Greek father calls his son a couple of days before Christmas and says, "Niko, I hate to ruin your day, but I must tell you that your mother and I are divorcing - forty-five years of misery is enough." "Mba mba, what are you talking about?" Niko screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister Toula and let her know." Frantic, the son calls Toula, who explodes on the phone."No way are my loving parents getting divorced!" she shouts. She calls Dad immediately and screams - - "Patera, you are not getting divorced! Don't do anything until we get there. I'm calling Niko back and we'll be there tomorrow. Do you hear me?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Endaxi," he says,"they're coming home for Christmas and paying their own way."
sadly, yes. From the front page of the Boston Globe this morning headlines: the 3rd speaker of the house in a row has been indicted on fraud charges and police add assault rilfes across the state - pointing to terror concerns. Oddly, another piece was about a Laugh Club seeking health in hilarity. Quite the juxtoposition. The state is also trying to decide if it should raise the sales tax by 1.5% and/or the gas tax by 19cents and gas just went up another 10cents in the past week. I want my Prius now. Then again, to keep it in perspective, an extended member of the family is serving his 2nd tour in Iraq and he called yesterday. He's having a tough time being away from his 8yr old son. I passed along some of the jokes I've picked up here and will send him more. Maybe the Laugh Club has something going for it. Thanks all for your contribution to my mental health and those serving in Iraq.
A General, a Colonel, and a Captain were in the barracks one day while a Private was on clean up duty. As they were talking the subject of sex came up. Go figure, :noidea: the argument was "is sex work or pleasure?" The General stated that sex was 80% work and 20% pleasure. The Colonel thought that sex was 60% work and 40% pleasure. The Captain said that sex was a 50/50 split between work and pleasure. After a few minutes of discussion with no consensus achieved the Officers looked over at the Private and asked "What do you think Private?" Thankful for a moment of rest the Private lean on her mop and paused for a moment in reflection. Then flatly stated that "Sex is 100% pleasure" Surprised the Officers asked how she, being so young and inexperienced, could be so sure. The Private, resuming her cleaning chores, said, "Sirs if there was any work involved in sex at all, I'm pretty sure you and the Army would have me doing it." ound: Wildkow
