Aren't crumpets flattish thingies with holes in 'em, and not at all like muffins, with or without an accent?
Did you know crumpets are kind of like what we call English Muffins, and what we call English Muffins the English just call "muffins", while what we know as muffins are fairly uncommon?
If we're serving margaritas - doubles, definitely - in Madonna's...um...cones, how is she going to offer her neighbour a cup of sugar? And where will we put the ice cream?